Speed Dialing Sunshine

By Minahil Mehdi

alf an hour of nothing
Escaping tremors and horrors
pulling out the number
I left in my pocket
When I met a miracle, on the street’s corner
There it is! Ah, it was here all along
A touch away, literally, a 
touch 
away
How easily I forget gifts that are right here
I quickly dial for Sunshine
It's on my speed dial; I smile
She picks up immediately 
I ask the Sun, and her husband who we call Shine
“Are you alright?”
“our children have been unwell”, say sun and sunshine
Oh
“Oh no, no wonder you’ve been absent”, I reply
“We’ve been absent”, they say
“But we sent some stars to pull a trick”
“I didn’t think of that, looking at the sky during night”, I reply
“Why don’t you try this time”, says sunshine
I smile
and hop back on my bed,
I still have twenty three minutes left 
From my half an hour of doing nothing 
Not even worrying for my life

Lying on this bed, as someone else gets to breathe
They are running out of medical equipment
So I get 1/48th hour of the day free, with no oxygen pumping into my chest
Besides, 
I now have a message from the sun to remember
To look for light at night

A few more minutes to go
So I turn towards the window
Where the birds are flying
Careless, free, haphazard 
birds with red flaps sitting on trees with yellow leaves
How I wish I had learned my geography lessons better
So I would know what to call them
By their names; beautiful red birds and trees yellow in ecstasy 
So many things to regret, if one comes to think
And so many things to be thankful for
If one comes to think
Like the speed dial in my phone
Direct to the sun and her husband!

The nurse is back, to wake me up
From my luxurious breach
of just a few minutes; thirty in total
breathing and feeling every ounce of it, 
Air filling up my chest, like an army marching into an enemy territory
“There has been a grave misunderstanding”, I want to tell my breath
“This was your home, here is where you danced and wept
Gently, with love, without consequence”
Ah!
Wish I could speed dial my breath also
I cannot 
But here is my second best option
The nurse
Who helps me live
as songs from my childhood form an alliance with the songs I heard at a shrine, all in my mind
Calm, silky, rhythms 
Purifying
Like water
Tiptoeing, twisting and turning, my mind hosting a teenage party
Like the feeling of lovingly running your fingers
Through your favorite person’s hair

I tell myself it will get better
That I will lie on the grass again
I will find words to thank the doctors
And their skins, that has wrinkled under masks and kits
And I will tell the world
Stop destroying forests, for it is not the bats that you can blame for disasters
It is you
Stop it
Please
Or else I will speed dial the sun to burn you!